No, the title above is not a typo, not a mistake. This post is about how to enjoy greater closeness with your family. It is about how you can help your parents become better adults with God’s help. I wish I could have read something similar to this when I was a kid.
This post is also for any involved with the teaching, the guiding and the encouraging of the young in your churches or community organizations. By all means revise, modify or add to this message as you wish for youth ministry.
To those of you living with parents, the steps in this article are the ones you can use to raise perfect parents.
Whether you have one parent or two parents, for the purpose of this post, I will refer to either of them as “parents”. This is in order to make this message easier to read.
OK, yes, I know that many of you youngsters and teens wish you can have more independence in your lives. Yes, I know that your parents, at times, just do not seem to know or understand you at all about the what is happening in you social life with your friends.
But if you sense that God is with you and that He wants to be near you so you can be a positive influence on others – especially your parents, then please take heed with what I am about to tell you here. You can indeed raise perfect parents. How? Here are some points that you can use:
1) Cooperate with your parents
This will show them that you appreciate and care about them. Thank them more often for the things they do for you. They were the ones who brought you into this world and were assigned the responsibility to take care of your needs and prepare you for adulthood.
2) Try to understand them
Try to understand how and why they think as they do. I believe most parents want the best for their children. If you believe they are not doing this, try to learn why.
Do not understand them just so you can get what you want or get your way, when you want it. In the long run, this may go against you because what you want may not be what is best for you for the moment.
3) Do something special for your parents
Do something for them you do not like to do. How about doing the dishes for them? How about taking out the garbage? Mowing the grass? Anything! How about accomplishing any or all of these tasks without being asked?!
This will make a lasting impression on them. Believe this.
4) Be trustworthy
This is very important in any relationship. To obtain their trust, you must first earn their trust. If you lie, break a promise or break one of their rules, they will not trust you as much.
Don’t you want your friends to always tell you the truth, always back you up when someone says something bad about you, and always share good moments with them? Why not do the same with your parents?
5) Go to your parents for advice
People need to believe in themselves – that they are useful and that they are needed. Why not ask them their opinion when you are about to make a decision of some kind?
But that is not the only reason to seek their advice. Your parents have seen and experienced a lot of good and a lot of bad things in their lives. They may have some emotional scars, bruises and letdowns that they do not want you to repeat. Ask God to help them give you the best advice they can when you ask them.
And when they give you advice, try immediately to implement it! Do this always! You will quickly see the fruits, the results, of following this point.
6) Talk to your parents as if they were close friends
This is a tough one because they are older and may seem “old fashioned” in their thinking. What subjects that you like could even interest them? You will be surprised.
How about talking to them about how they handled someone who always gossiped behind their backs.
Ask them what its was like for them learning how to drive a car. Ask them how they first earned money, etc.
Please note, your parents are never really going to be like your friends that are the same age as you. Your parents are adults who have a responsibility from God to raise you up properly.
I know many of you feel the same way. You do not want them behaving as you do. But there is nothing wrong with treating them as if they were your best friend.
7) Go easy on them
Everyone has shortcomings. No one is perfect – nor will ever be. The same is true with your parents. Be a forgiving person. Are you perfect? How about your best friend in school? Is he or she perfect? If you think so, then you do not know this person very well.
Remember: You are raising up your parents to become “perfect” – whatever that means to you. Will this perfection ever happen? Probably not. Again, most parents are doing the best they can to being there for you.
8) Hug your parents
At first, this may be difficult if you have stopped doing this for some time or have never really experienced this in your family. They and you will get used to it after a while.
Older people, like your parents, need hugs also. It is therapeutic (healthy) for them.
If for some reason you cannot hug them. Pray that God spiritually do this for you. He (God) may also let you know when there is a moment, an opportunity, for you to actually do this.
9) Love your parents unconditionally
By unconditional I mean without any strings attached – without expecting anything in return from them. Love them – even if they at times do or say things you do not like.
You may be in a home where your parents are rough or abusive – love them anyway. Be still and quiet during these serious moments. Here is where you can, once again, ask God for help. You may want to talk to an understanding relative or counselor at school that you are comfortable to help you later on.
Also, if you do not understand something the pastor said, ask your parents about it. Rather than daydreaming or tuning out, pay attention to what is being said. There are reasons why that youth pastor is talking to you and your group. And there are reasons why the minister is preaching to your parents in church. Your parents most likely did not go there for no reason. After church services, ask them what they learned.
If your parents do not attend church services, find a way to visit one with some help. God will show you the best way to go about doing this. Maybe you can contact a Christian relative where both you and that relative can write or call a church pastor near you about your situation.
Let me finish here by asking you this question: Why try to raise perfect parents? After all, no one will ever become fully “perfect” in this life. But it is always a good goal. Don’t you agree?
But, trying to raise “perfect” parents now will benefit you later on in life.
Raising “perfect” parents will one day make it easy for you to be a “perfect” student in all of the schools you will ever attend. It will help you be a “perfect” friend with those who are your friends. And it may just help you be a “perfect” parent when you are raising your own “perfect” children.
May God, our perfect Father in heaven, always be with you.