This happened once before. About a month ago, I was at a supermarket helping my wife with the groceries when, somehow, my shopping cart and I found ourselves in the book and magazine aisle of the store. How that ever happened again I do not know.
This time, a book on a separate revolving rack display caught my attention. It was right in front of my face! I could not help but notice it. The title of the book is the one you see on your right: How To Talk So Your Husband Will Listen by Rick Johnson.
I picked it out, looked at a few pages, placed the
book in the cart and went to tell my wife about it.
After showing it to her, I commented that she would
greatly benefit by reading it (I sound very manipulating,
don’t I?) But she then told me she had just seen it and
did not want to take it. I asked her why? She just said she did
not want to purchase it. Well, I think she believed if she
bought it, I would get a hold of it and then know in advance
what she was up to when she applied its principles on me.
Whether she will pick it up (or a similar book) another
day, I do not know. But, I could not help but purchase
it for myself and, well, you know, …. ah …. be amused by it.
Well, I did finish reading it and want to highly recommend it to you ladies. This book does not reveal how to persuade men to do anything by coercing or psychologically playing mind games against them. Although there is a chapter or two devoted toward the goal of helping your mate, several of its concepts, I am sure, are not new to many of you.
Nevertheless, this book, I believe, should be
read not only by you wives, but also by you
who are unmarried – even by married and
unmarried men! And if you are divorced, I strongly
suggest reading it – especially if there is
even a slight possibility you will marry again.
As many of you already know, Mother’s Day is this weekend (May 14) in America and elsewhere. It is a day where the female parent of the family unit is particularly singled out to be honored by her significant other as well as by her children for all of her love and sacrifices she has given them over the years. Please enjoy the day! God bless!
But also, as most of you are aware, because of various reasons such as divorce, separation, or abandonment by the father, or the death of your spouse, many of you will celebrate Mother’s Day being single mothers. I am not in your shoes, so I know I will never, in this life time, completely understand.
But, if you are a single mom and have children who are honoring you this weekend, I must commend you. You have been handling several important responsibilities all at the same time for your household. Some of you, I know, are perhaps overwhelmed and often exhausted by the tasks. My prayers are that God continue providing you much strength and support. I do not say this lightly, of course.
But if your husband is still with you, what this book mentions repeatedly is that it is the woman’s attitude, knowledge and presence that are the important factors in her family’s life. Because they could be negative ones in the relationship, this book shows why a woman needs to be a positive example and have wisdom and understanding at the same time, especially on what makes a man tick.
The key word used in the book is INFLUENCE. No one can change another person’s behavior or character. Any behavior modifications that you forcefully try to enforce within your marriage will often produce frustrating results.
Here are the ten chapters of this book:
1) A Woman’s Whisper
2) Authentic Masculinity
3) Nine Qualities of Good Men
4) Nine Traits That Hold Him Back
5) Speaking Your Man’s Language
6) Power Tools For Women
7) The First Man In Every Woman’s Life
8) Sex Is Not A Weapon
9) The Top Ten Things That Drive Women Crazy
10) Using Your Influence Effectively
What more can I say? In my opinion, the important chapters in this book for women to highly consider – I believe a must – are: chapters 2, 3, 7, and 10. For men reading the book, the important chapters for them to read are: chapters 2, 3, 7 and 9.
Chapter three, for example, reveals there are too many wives and single moms in the United States and elsewhere that need good husbands, but, what has been happening is that many of these women are growing up without a good father model. They therefore are hardly able to see what a good husband looks like. Many of these ladies later become attracted to men for the wrong reasons rather than on men whose values build strong families.
This book greatly deals with choices women should look for in the person they want to marry. It is an eye-opener as to why society experiences a seemingly endless number of single mothers caused by constant marital abuse and heart-wrenching divorces.
As long as there are immature behavior causing divorces or separation from the male side of the marital union, single parenthood will persist. This book does not say being a single parent is wrong, but it strongly indicates that women need husbands who are focused adequately on the needs of the family. Let me emphasize here, without a good, husband role model, each boy and girl member in the family will most likely, later on, have trouble identifying a good potential spouse having good qualities – unless there are positive interventions of some kind.
On the back cover of the book this is what it says:
• recognize and affirm your man’s good qualities
• encourage leadership, forgiveness, and patience in your husband
• build his authentic masculinity
• deal with a man’s anger, self-centeredness, or other negative traits
Many women, before getting into a relationship, are very clueless and naive about males – very naive. Therefore, I believe you wives, reading books such as these, just may be better able to relate to your husband. There is so much good advice and insight to be gained reading this.
I must now admit, however, what this world desperately needs are men having good principles and qualities that will be helpful to women marrying them. So, if you are a man, I pray this book will appeal to you. Several chapters contain information on how fathers can tremendously influence various aspects of their children’s lives. It will provide you insights to developing your children into mature adults.
You wives can easily contemplate about your husband as you read this book: how he behaves; his former relationship with his mother; and why he behaves the way he does.
There is a strong, Christian undertone throughout the book, so if you feel like it’s not for you; if you don’t happen to be Christian; I still recommend it to you and any woman who wants to know and be inspired how to influence their sons and daughters to grow up being strong and confident individuals of integrity.
This is a much needed topic. But, if any of you women feel this book seems to be overly targeting single women and single moms, I will disagree with you for the most part. But, if you are single, please understand it is very vital that much of the advice given here will also be on helping you find a good male role model for your sons and/or daughters. I know I am sounding repetitive. I cannot help it. If you do not agree with this book, may I suggest reading this other book:
The Passionate Mom: Dare to Parent in Today’s World
by Susan Merrill (a woman author)
These books mentioned may not, at the moment, be of much help to an overwhelmed, single mom trying to raise children while making a living and overcoming her own personal problems, heartaches and frustrations. I understand your concern here. Please do not be discouraged. There other ways you can examine.
One way is to be involved in a small group. I prefer a Christian one. Larger sized churches tend to have them – as well as Christian counselors. Prayerfully find the time to seek and be involved in one, please. The other ways that simplify your lives will occur as you continue seeking to improve your situation. I pray that God’s help will soon come your way.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you ladies.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Note: If you are having difficulty finding this book in your supermarket or have your own retail outlet and want to sell books such as this one, the back cover of my book has a sticker label with the distributor contact information. Here it is:
10100 Piper Lane
Web address: choicebooks.org
Please note that I am in no way affiliated nor have contract agreements with this organization.